Page 23 of Beyond Reason (Lost Kings MC 9)

  Merlin shrugs as if he couldn’t care less.

  Asshole.

  “Does Carter know?” I ask.

  “No. Dean made me promise.” He looks away. “I wouldn’t have disrespected Cindy like that anyway.”

  “But you treated him like shit instead? Good job, Uncle Chuck.”

  He spreads his free arm wide. “What do you want from me, Charlotte?”

  Cheeks pink with anger, she leans over the table, a little too close to Merlin for my taste, and lowers her voice to a seething whisper. “You claim you loved my mother so much. Whatever the circumstances, he’s her son and you’ve been awful to him his whole life.”

  All he does is nod as if he agrees with every word. “Told you, it should’ve been me who died on that highway, not your dad.”

  Tears fill her eyes, but she doesn’t respond. Merlin sits back, watching her come apart with shining eyes of his own.

  “We’re not finished,” I inform him.

  His startled gaze swings my way. “What else is there?”

  I lean forward, slapping my hands on the table. “Who else was here that night?”

  “No one.” He glances at Charlotte and shakes his head. “Your mother told you that story about a visiting club later, so you’d forget about her dealer. She was ashamed of what she’d done and paranoid you’d figure it out.” He shakes his head. “She didn’t need to worry about it, though. Your mind was all fucked up from whatever the fuck she gave you.”

  “I swear to fuck, Merlin, if you’re lying—”

  He cuts me off, any regret he’d just displayed vanishing. “You think I’m going to give up her mom after I protected her secret all these years, but hide someone else? Fuck you.”

  “Yeah, if you were trying to strike a deal with another club behind your president’s back. You know, like what you’ve been doing with South of Satan MC.”

  “Sit down and shut up, boy. You don’t know fucking shit about anything.”

  “I know you promised to patch over South of Satan to try to push us out of Ironworks. Maybe you were working with them back then too?”

  He snorts and then laughs. “Nothing got by Ulfric back then. The deal I was working on now is none of your fucking business.” He waves his hand at the door. “Besides, I’m pretty sure, thanks to your crew, Whisper has killed that arrangement.”

  “You’d protect one of your brothers over me,” Charlotte whispers. “It’s always been club first, family last for you.”

  “I deserve that.” He slides his gaze back to Charlotte and his hard expression fades. “Are you sure there was someone else?”

  She shakes her head. This whole thing has completely unraveled her. “Yes, but I threw all the paperwork from the hospital away years ago.”

  I lean in closer. “Who was part of the club back then?”

  “How do you expect me to give up a brother?”

  “You owe her. That’s how.”

  He sits back and shakes his head. “Ulfric was away. Whisper was away. Hudson was a member of another charter back then.”

  “What about Tiki? Keeper? Dolph?” I’m dangerously close to an ass-kicking if Whisper overhears me accusing his brothers and don’t even care. “Come on, think.”

  Merlin shakes his head. “These are men I’ve shared a patch with for years, Teller. I can’t fathom one of them disrespecting me that way.”

  “It’s not about you,” Charlotte snaps.

  “I honestly don’t know.”

  I hate that I actually believe him. He seems as distressed as I am. Probably because he’s doing the math and realizing, whether he likes it or not, the other person had to be one of his brothers.

  Christ, I’m torn between beating the shit out of him for hurting Charlotte, for lying to her all these years, for everything. And if we were alone right now, my fists would be flying. But after everything she’s had to take in today, I can’t stand the thought of more violence invading her mind. And I can’t send her outside. Not even when I know my brothers will look after her while I deliver the punches Merlin has coming.

  I just can’t leave her side.

  Besides, somewhere in this clubhouse, there’s a Wolf Knight who knows the truth.

  Now to figure out which one.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  I’m numb and broken as we leave my uncle’s cell.

  Teller leans in and whispers something in Merlin’s ear, then walks us into the hallway.

  Rock places his hand on my shoulder. “You okay, sweetheart?”

  “I don’t know,” I mumble.

  “Let’s get her home, then we’ll regroup,” Wrath says to Teller. He raises an eyebrow and tilts his head toward the room, asking Teller some unspoken question I can’t decipher.

  Teller shakes his head and squeezes me tighter.

  “I got you, bro” Wrath says in a low voice, stepping away.

  Rock and Z follow us up the stairs into the common area where we meet with Whisper.

  “He still alive?” Whisper asks.

  “Unfortunately,” Teller grumbles.

  Whisper glances down at me. “Get your answers?”

  “Maybe a few too many.” Another damn tear rolls down my cheek and I swipe it away with an angry flick of my wrist.

  Keeper strolls into the room and stops when he sees us. “What’s going on?” he asks.

  “Nothing,” Whisper answers without turning around. “Not your concern.”

  Teller narrows his eyes, watching Keeper closely.

  Wrath joins us and pulls Whisper aside. Rock and Z walk out ahead of us and we follow.

  As we pass Keeper, his dark eyes drill into me while his mouth tightens into a creepy smile. A shiver of fear skitters down my back.

  Keeper throws out one hand, stopping Teller. “Merlin’s out now. Better watch your back.”

  Teller’s eyes narrow. “How’s that, Keeper?”

  “Well, her last thug boyfriend disappeared. Guessing she never mentioned it.”

  “Fuck you, Keeper. You fucking asshole,” I shout. I haven’t forgotten the way he pushed to have my uncle bug my phone or the nasty things he said about me.

  Teller unwraps his arm from my shoulders and presses both hands to Keeper’s chest, shoving him into the wall. “Don’t talk to her or even look at her again, or you’re dead. We clear?”

  “Hey! What’s going on?” Whisper shouts, storming over to us.

  “Your VP needs to learn some fucking respect,” Teller growls, still pressing Keeper to the wall.

  “Easy, brother,” Wrath says in a low voice. Even though he seems to be trying to diffuse the situation, his fighting stance suggests he’s ready to attack if anyone lays a finger on us.

  Keeper finally holds up his hands. “No disrespect intended.”

  “Go on,” Whisper says to us. “I got him.”

  Teller gives Keeper one last shove before taking my hand and storming out.

  At his bike, I stop, tugging on his hand. “Take me home. Please.”

  He hesitates, glancing at Rock and Z. “I need to go back to the clubhouse.”

  To discuss all the dirty details he learned about me, I’m sure.

  I can’t be around the guys for that. I won’t be able to look at any of them in the eye ever again.

  “Drop me off at the house then.”

  His fingers brush my chin, tipping my head back. “I don’t want you alone right now.”

  “I can’t see anyone. Especially if. If…” I can’t even complete my thought.

  “Hey,” he leans in closer, brushing his lips against my ear, “everything we learned from Merlin today stays between the three of us. That’s what I told him before we left.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.” His gaze darts around the parking lot. “Except that I want to figure out which Wolf Knight hurt you. Everything else stays buried.”

  “Carter?”

  “We’ll talk about it more later, but honestly, I don’t see what good comes f

rom telling him. It’s only going to hurt him and bring up questions he’ll never be able to get answers for.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper.

  He hugs me to his chest and I soak in his warmth for the few brief seconds before he lets go.

  “All set?” Wrath’s big voice startles us apart. He settles one hand on Teller’s shoulder and my gaze falls on his scraped knuckles.

  “Let’s go.”

  Still worried about Charlotte, I watch her trudge up the stairs at the clubhouse. I should go with her, but I’m too eager to sit down at the table and figure out my next move.

  At least I know she’s safe here.

  “How’d it go?” Rock says as I close the war room door behind me.

  “Awful. Merlin’s an asshole, but at least he’s not as twisted as I feared,” I answer, glancing at Z.

  “Are we done with this?” Rock asks, sounding as confused as I feel.

  I think about how to say it without revealing too much, but fucking hell, do I finally want some justice for Charlotte.

  “What I didn’t say before was that…more than one person hurt her that night. Merlin found out about one back then. Turns out he did handle it.”

  Wrath scowls. “He did? Why the fuck didn’t he just say so?”

  “It’s…complicated.”

  Rock throws a hard look at Wrath before addressing me. “That’s not important. Continue.”

  “He didn’t seem to know about the other person.”

  “How’s that possible?” Z asks.

  “I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure it was another Wolf Knight. And after he thought about it, Merlin seemed to agree. He just didn’t know who.”

  “Ulfric and Whisper are out,” Z says, jumping straight in.

  “Tiny died a couple years ago, but that fucker was so old he could barely move, let alone get it up,” Wrath says.

  Murphy sits up. “Tiki likes younger women.”

  “So do you,” Z jokes.

  “Stay on track,” Rock warns.

  “What did Keeper say to you tonight?” Wrath asks.

  “Nothing useful.” I actually think about the words Keeper used. “He implied Merlin has gotten rid of Charlotte’s boyfriends before and to watch my back.”

  “What a tool.”

  Charlotte’s never told me much about any of her boyfriends, something I probably wouldn’t have wanted to hear anyway, but the fact that Keeper described one as a thug, gives me pause.

  “I need to think on it and talk to Charlotte some more.”

  “All right.” Rock holds up a hand indicating I should stay for a second. “If you come up with anything or Charlotte thinks of anything, call me.”

  “Thanks, Prez.”

  After Teller enters the war room, I can’t shake off the ugliness swirling and pulsing in my head. Finally learning what really happened should’ve set all the demons chewing at my insides free. So, why does uncovering the truth hurt so much worse than living with the lies all these years?

  A need to run and be alone consumes me, but since I came here with Marcel, I’m trapped.

  “Hey, Charlotte,” Heidi calls out. “Everything okay?” She’s leaving her room and when I meet her eyes her smile falters.

  “Hi. Are you busy right now?” I ask.

  She frowns. “No, not really. Hope’s watching Alexa while she naps. I just ran over here to—”

  “Do you think you can run me home? The guys are at the table and I need to do a few things.”

  “Uh, sure. I guess.”

  The whole way downstairs, she chatters about Alexa, school, and her job. I nod and try to follow along, but the need to get home overwhelms all my other senses.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to wait for my brother? They probably won’t take that long,” Heidi says when we arrive at her car. She glances back at the clubhouse and worries her bottom lip with her teeth.

  “Nah,” I say, trying to inject some casualness into my voice. “Who knows how long they’ll be there.”

  After Heidi drops me off, the first thing, hell the only thing I can think about, is taking a shower. Hot enough to scrub the filth of the afternoon off.

  Under the steady beat of water, shame makes its long, overdue appearance and I slump against the wall.

  Marcel heard all of it. If I’d had any idea the full story would be that awful, I would have begged him to stay outside.

  My mother.

  I can’t.

  How is he ever going to forget everything he learned? Or want to have children with someone who comes with so much toxic baggage? What I learned today stung like being violated all over again.

  Actually, it’s worse, because it’s not a stranger who betrayed me. It was my own blood. The person who should’ve protected me instead offered me up to the wolves.

  With no clear plan in mind, I shut off the water, dry myself, and head upstairs to pack.

  My mind’s spinning so fast, I can barely breathe as I pull out a small suitcase and a backpack. A bitter smile forces my mouth up. A few days ago, I unpacked these same bags thinking I was starting a future in a new home with the man I love.

  Now? Any future I thought I could have is stained with the painful truths we learned this afternoon. The little blond mini-Marcels I’d allow myself to picture having one day? Gone. Our sweet little girl I secretly dreamed about dressing in “daddy’s girl” onesies? Nope. My hand absently settles over my stomach. How could he ever trust me with his children after what we learned today?

  I pause in the middle of tossing a shirt in my suitcase. It’s actually Marcel’s and I stop to inhale his scent.

  Should I stay and try to explain it to him?

  No. He may have looked at me with nothing but love after we left my uncle. But eventually the details will sink in and I can’t be there when that love is replaced by disgust.

  I’m not sure where I’m going, but I can’t stay here.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Heidi’s closing the front door when we step out of the war room.

  “Hey, beautiful, what’re you up to?” Murphy asks, hurrying over to her.

  “Can’t you keep your grimy paws off my sister for five seconds?” I grumble.

  Without turning around, Murphy throws up a middle finger and continues molesting my sister. Eager to check on Charlotte, I leave them and head upstairs.

  “Hang on, Marcel,” she says, pushing Murphy back. “I just dropped Charlotte off at home, Marcel.”

  I pause mid-step. “You what? Why?”

  “She said she had stuff to do and didn’t want to wait for you.” Her gaze pings between Murphy and me. “Was that okay?”

  “Yeah, it’s fine,” I say, reversing direction. “Thanks.”

  It’s not fine at all. Dread settles over me. I shouldn’t have left Charlotte alone after hearing all that garbage about her mother. Christ, Charlotte’s mother and my own could’ve been best friends. They sure seem to have had the same set of twisted priorities.

  “Hey,” I say, pulling Heidi out of Murphy’s grabby hands. I wrap her up in a tight hug, wishing like hell I’d done more to protect her, but thankful for the strong woman she’s turned into. “Love you, kid.”

  “What’s wrong, Marcel?” she asks.

  “Nothing,” I say, releasing her. “I’ll catch you two later.”

  On the short ride to our house, I work out my thoughts on Keeper. Soon, I need to talk about it with Charlotte, but not tonight.

  The house is quiet. She had to hear me ride up, but she’s not downstairs. Maybe she was tired, drained from the day and decided to take a nap.

  I take the stairs slowly, partially because my leg’s bothering me today but also because if she’s sleeping, I don’t want to wake her up.

  When I find her in the bedroom, she’s not sleeping.

  She’s sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the floor.

  A hot poker of pain hits me in the chest as my gaze lands on the suitcase and backpack at her

feet.

  She’s leaving me?

  “Charlotte? What’re you doing?”

  She whips her head around, surprise to find me in the doorway written all over her troubled face.

  “What’s going on?”

  A soft sniffle reaches me and I can’t stand another second of not holding her. I cross the room, avoiding the evidence of her intent to run and sit next to her on the edge of the bed.

  “I’m sorry I took so long. It could’ve waited,” I say, as I wrap one arm around her and tuck her against me. “Is that why you came home?”

  “Marcel, I can’t,” she says, pushing me away and standing.

  My heart hammers, but I keep my expression and voice calm. “Can’t what? Talk about it? We don’t have to tonight.”

  “No. I can’t do this.”

  Ice crackles through my veins. “Do what?”

  “This. A relationship. Not after…Jesus, I wish you hadn’t heard all of that.”

  “You’re losing me, Sunshine.” I reach for her hand and she steps back.

  “Don’t. I feel filthier than I did the day it happened.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “No, but that same poison runs through me, Marcel. How could I ever…why would you ever?”

  “What?”

  “You don’t want me to be the mother of your children. Knowing that’s what I come from.”

  Utterly confused with her logic, I stand, running my hands through my hair. “Charlotte, you’re one of the smartest women I’ve ever known, but that has to be the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.”

  “Don’t call me stupid.”

  Her broken voice hurts so much as I struggle for the words to fix this. “Hey, I thought we cured that hearing problem of yours,” I tease, reaching out to tickle my fingers over her earlobe. “Don’t slide backward now.”

  The corner of her mouth twitches.

  I move in closer, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “We’re in this together, Charlotte. I’m not going anywhere.”

  She drops her gaze, shaking her head. “I’m not good for you.”

  “You’re the best part of me.”

  She opens her mouth—probably for another denial—and I hold up my hand. “You’re nothing like your mother. You’re all sweetness and light and warmth.”