Page 119 of The Lover

“Would you care to explain why I find you in the servants’ quarters, love?”

“You are clever enough to venture a guess. I am attempting to avoid you. I pray you, go away.”

He shook his head, unwilling to leave her like this. Smoothing her tresses from her neck, he massaged the satin skin of her nape. “Not until we reach an understanding.”

“Devil take you,” Sabrina muttered. “There is nothing more to be said.”

His voice dropped to a quiet murmur. “Do you truly want me out of your life, mouse?”

The sudden ache in her throat prevented her from replying. She could feel the warmth of his hand on her nape, gentle yet infinitely compelling.

“I’ve missed you, Sabrina. I’ve missed your fire, your courage, your passion, your clever tongue. Have you not missed me as well?”

Of course she had missed him, damn his eyes. Since leaving the Highlands, she’d done nothing but struggle against tormenting memories of Niall. “’Tis only a temporary obsession. It will pass, I’m certain.”

“No. There is obsession as well, but I think I’ve enough experience to recognize the uniqueness of my feelings. I’ve never felt this yearning of the heart, this need to fill the loneliness. I’m empty inside without you, Sabrina. You’re in my blood. I’ll never be free of you…I don’t want to be free.”

She lifted her head to gaze at him searchingly.

“I love you, Sabrina. Can you not feel it every time I take you in my arms?”

Sabrina squeezed her eyes shut, haunted by the memory of his male body saying so openly and truthfully that he wanted her. But lust was not love. “Whatever you feel for me, it isn’t love.”

“If so, then how do you explain this appalling misery I feel when you spurn me?”

“’Tis simple. You’re like a spoiled bairn denied sweetmeats for the first time in his life.”

Niall shook his head. “I’ve never loved any woman before, Sabrina. It’s the most bewildering, joyous feeling I’ve ever known. Look at me, sweeting.”

; She didn’t want to look at him, yet she couldn’t stop herself. She obeyed, and her heart ached to see those astonishingly warm eyes gazing so tenderly at her.

“You’re the only lass who has ever captured my heart.”

Sabrina swallowed hard, her face showing too much of the hope that fluttered in her heart. She wanted to believe him so badly that the depth of it terrified her.

“I intend to remain constant to you,” Niall replied quietly. “Upon my honor, Sabrina, I swear it.”

A shadow passed over her eyes. “It is not your honor I doubt. It is your making pledges you cannot keep.”

A breathtaking, whimsical smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Oh, I most assuredly will keep this one. Never again will I endure such torment as I have of late. My life has been a misery without you.”

“Your life was a misery with me, as I recall. We did nothing but fight.”

“And make love.”

“It isn’t enough, Niall. Marriage is more than lovemaking or physical pleasure. More than games or dalliance or flirtation. What we had was no true marriage.”

“No,” he said gravely, “it was not. But it will be.”

Gazing into his eyes, Sabrina felt a most disastrous weakening of the heart she was trying to steel against him. But it was foolish to succumb to his blandishments. “What I want from a union is not what you want.”

“And what do you want?”

“Love and loyalty and honesty…sharing thoughts and dreams, working together, building a future, a family.”

“You are wrong, Sabrina. I want those things as well. With you.”